C'mon, everyone! Let's get HEALTHY! (CLASH SUCKS!!!)

(I've added a new column so along with tracking my physical condition, you can track my emotional condition as well! Isn't that exciting?!)

Bike Exercise Schedule Drink Eat Dental Happiness


Bike Legend
"Bike" refers to the fact that I own a bicycle. I have proof that I own it, because it's sitting in my kitchen, where it has been for the last six months. The goal here is to actually use it for the purpose for which it was originally created (and purchased).
 A serious ride, as defined by a length of time around an hour, and riding hard (pedaling constantly versus lots of coasting and resting).
 An easier ride, maybe a half hour, and not so intense.
 Bike sat in the kitchen all day.

Exercise Legend
"Exercise" refers to significant athletic activity that falls outside the realm of "Bike", particularly muscle-building/toning stuff.
 Full workout or other significant event.
 Pushups 'n' crunches.
 Lazy fat bastard.

Schedule Legend
Early to bed and early to rise, something something something. I'd probably remember the rest of that saying, but I have averaged about three seconds of sleep for the past year or so, and most of that came in 9-minute intervals between mashing the snooze-bar. "Schedule" aims to rectify this situation. We're gonna want to get up early to get our bike ride and and get a headstart on the day, and we're not gonna want to stay up too late, or we'll be robbing ourselves of precious rest!
 Early up (no later than 6:00 AM) and early down (no later than 10:00 PM)!
 Early up, not so early down (or vice versa).
 Partied all night, snoozed all morning.

Drink Legend
Ah. Well, here we are. I don't think it's any secret that your boy here enjoys a nice adult beverage or nine on occasion. That's not good. Not good at all. So here's where we take care of that. The goal is to have a MAXIMUM of two drinks (most likely red wine) per day, and taken as an accompaniment to the evening meal. More than two are okay, but only in a social situation, like a party, or me and the girls out on the town.
 Two drinks (or less) with dinner.
 More than two, but with friends.
 Sucked off a tequila bottle and cried myself to sleep.

Eat Legend
Eating well, I normally do pretty well at. Strange that for a fat fuck like me, this would be the easiest of all of these items. But "Eat" does, in fact refer to the goal of keeping it light, keeping it real, and keeping it continue.
 Healthy stuff, and not too much of it.
 Eating right, but perhaps a bit too much volume (or the other way around).
 Got my fill from the "bacon cheeseburger" food group.

Dental Legend
It's pretty sad that a 32-year-old man still hasn't figured out how to keep up a rigorous dental care routine. I'm not going to go into too many details here, because it's disgusting, but let's just say, "Dental" is the section by which this part of my life will be judged.